Maybe
by Nez
Summary: R/J. This is based on the preview for the car crash espisode, and it's kind of an in-defense-of-Jess thing as well. Jess' friend comes to see him when she hears of the accident, gives Lorelai a new perspective on Jess, and brings Rory and Jess together.
1. Enter Mel

I wrote this after seeing the previews for next week's episode.  It's kind of an in-defense-of-Jess thing, and the later chapters (if there are any) will probably be R/J-ish.  Review and I will love you forever!  Tell me what you think.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls.  ~*sigh*~  But I _do_ own Mel.

~*~*~*~*~*~  

Luke rushed frantically through the apartment, pushing piles of clothing and CDs to the floor in his mad search for keys.  Rory and Jess, in a car accident… he would never forgive himself if either of them died.  Rory he cared for like his own daughter, and Jess…  well, even though he never showed it, he really did care about the kid.  A little.  

            Blood rushed to his head as he stormed around, heedlessly shoving anything unfortunate enough to be in his path to the ground in frustration.  He was nearly frantic with anxiety.  He _had_ to get to the hospital.

            "Aha!"  A telltale glimmer caught his eye and he swooped down on Jess' desk, where his keys lay.  Grabbing them and shoving them into his pockets, he was about to rush out to his car when a slightly crumpled piece of paper on Jess' desk caught his attention.  Pausing, he glanced at it, shoving a battered copy of _The Secret Sharer_ out of the way to get a better look.  A half written letter, to one of Jess' friends…  he must have been writing it when Rory came to ask him over to her house.  The envelope lay nearby.  It was addressed in Jess' strangely neat handwriting to a Mel Cervantes.  Hesitating, he fingered the envelope for several seconds before grabbing a pen and a piece of paper, scrawling a quick message over it.  It would be nice for Jess to have a friend with him… if he survived…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            The slightly disgruntled fifteen-year-old rubbed her eyes as she stumbled down the apartment stairs to the lobby below.  Pushing open the creaking door, she made her sleepy way towards the mailboxes lined across the opposite wall.  At 8:00 on a Saturday morning, it was deserted, and her footsteps were strangely loud as they echoed through the sun filled room.  She glanced groggily out the window, taking in the smoggy traffic that clogged the New York streets.  With fumbling fingers, she pulled the key to her family's P. O. box from her pocket, shoving it into the lock and swinging the door open.  Three letters.  Not bad.  

            Slamming the door shut, she made her way upstairs once more.  Bills, bills, Jess!  She paused, a smile flashing over her face.  Tucking the bills under her arm, she ripped the envelope open, unfolding the slightly crumpled letter and glancing over its contents.  She froze in shock, her eyes widening as she read it a second time, her lips mouthing the words as she read.  

            She slowly lowered the letter, her eyes dazed with shock.  Then, without further ado, she stormed up the stairs to her apartment.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Two days later…

            She was going to _kill_ Jess.  

Lorelai stood helplessly over Rory's bed, tears spilling over her cheeks.  Rory had always been the strong one; she never got sick, she never got hurt.  It was always Lorelai who went to her daughter for comfort, who got her boo-boos kissed and her bruises patted.  But now there Rory lay, the strong one, her pale face covered in bloody gashes and her left arm and leg in casts.  She had nearly been _killed_.  All because of Jess.

Rory had been conscious for an hour or so the day before, and had told them what had happened; how Jess had taken his hands from the wheel and told her to take control of the car.  But she hadn't, and the car had smashed headlong into a tree.  

It was all Jess' fault.

Rory's reaction to the accident had been odd.  She had quickly asked if Jess was all right, and upon finding that he was in stable condition, settled back into her sheets, her face untensing slightly and some of the worry leaving her face.  But still, her skin had been as white as the pillow she rested on.  And her eyes held a strange, empty look that Lorelai had never seen in them before.  It unnerved her.  No, it terrified her, because she knew that the Rory who left this hospital would never be the same innocent little girl who had entered it.

She ran a trembling hand over her daughter's face, stroking aside the stray strands of hair that covered her face.  It wasn't until then, seeing her daughter lying prone in a hospital room, that she realized how lost she would be without her.

"Excuse me, miss."

Lorelai, jolted, surprised, at the sound of the nurse's voice.  She quickly turned, smiling and wiping tears from her flushed cheeks.  "Yes?"

"I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over now.  I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Lorelai had a wild urge to storm over and slam the door in the nurse's face, and spend the night there with her daughter, but she merely reaching down and squeezed Rory's hand, nodding.  The nurse stood back slightly, holding the door open for her to exit through.  Lorelai slowly walked from the room, her footsteps heavy.  When she had crossed the threshold, she turned for one last time to gaze at her daughter.  She was so pale, so vulnerable…

She sighed and turned, adjusting her purse on her shoulder as she began to walk down the unnervingly spotless hall.  She gasped and stumbled slightly as someone collided into her and then rushed past, not even bothering to throw a quick 'sorry' over their shoulder.  Lorelai spun around, preparing to snap at whoever it was, but the words died in her throat as she watched the offender.

She was a mere girl of fifteen, her blue eyes flashing worriedly as she scanned the doors lining hallway.  Hair the same shade as her eyes hung messily over her forehead, and several metal studs made themselves known on her lip and eyebrows.  An incalculable amount of zippers clacked on plaid pants as she stalked up and down the passageway, her eyes darting back and forth.  She was clearly concerned, and was nearly twitching with anxiety.  She probably hadn't even noticed Lorelai, preoccupied as she was.  Lorelai's eyes softened as she watched the girl, hovering like a clumsy, overgrown moth in the hospital hallway.  She looked so out of place, so helpless in her fear.

"Hey, hon," Lorelai called softly, "I'm sorry, but I think visiting hours are over."

The girl glanced up, her intense blue eyes burning into her.  "I know.  That nurse just told me.  I punched her lights out."

Err… ok.  Maybe not so helpless.

Lorelai raised her eyebrows.  "Oh… really?  Did you?  That's very… nice of you."

Her comment went unnoticed.  The girl continued prowling up and down the hall, staring at each room number as she past.  Finally, she paused, brushing a clump of her clipped electric blue hair from her eyes as she stared at the door before her.  "Here it is," she said softly, "Room 642."

She slowly swung the door open, peering inside.  Lorelai, always curious (Nosy?  Lorelai?  Never!), couldn't help peeking over her shoulder.  A dark head, a pale face…  Jess.  Her heart constricted with anger as she stood, frozen, in the doorway. 

The girl, however, crept slowly into the darkened room, slipping her ragged duffel bag from her shoulder and gently depositing it onto a chair.  She carefully settled herself on the edge of the bed, making sure not to wake the boy who slept there.  Adjusting his pillows and smoothing his blankets, she looked almost like a mother, hovering worriedly over her sick child.  

Blinking to adjust her eyes to the darkness of the room, Lorelai realized that Jess was just as beat up as Rory had been, if not more.  Stitches laced his face, making his head look somewhat like an overgrown baseball, and both his arms were in casts.  The girl bent over him, gently patting his face and smoothing his hair.

Lorelai blinked, realizing how uncannily similar this girl was to herself.  She was treating Jess in nearly the exact same way she had handled her daughter, with tender anxiety.  But why Jess?  _Why_ would anyone treat that… that delinquent _freak_ with such affection?  He had almost killed Rory with his carelessness.  He had only brought pain and frustration into her life and Rory's.  How could anyone care so much about such a person?

She couldn't suppress the boiling anger and hate that bubbled in her chest, begging for an exit.  Clenching her fists, she let images of Rory's torn face flash through her mind, only igniting her frustration and anger.  She had to let it out, or she would explode…

"How can you be so concerned about him?  He only cares about himself; he's a selfish egomaniac!" she hissed, inwardly twinging for being so unreasonable and yelling at a girl she had just met and didn't even know, but she had to let her frustration out somehow.

She glanced up in surprise.  "You know Jess?"

"Yes I know Jess, he just almost _killed_ my daughter!"

The girl cocked her head to the side, observing Lorelai with keen eyes.  "You must be Lorelai.  Jess told me about you.  You mean he almost killed Rory?"

Lorelai blinked.  "Wait.  Hold up.  How do you know my name?"

She shrugged.  "Jess told me.  He writes to me sometimes, I was his best friend back in NY.  He's told me about Stars Hollow and stuff, but the main topic of his letters is usually a certain Rory Gilmore.  So she was the girl he was in the accident with?"

"Yeah, she was!  And this _delinquent _here nearly killed her with his recklessness and his irresponsibility!  He doesn't care what he does or who he hurts, as long as he has his fun and comes out unscathed!" Lorelai stormed, digging her nails into the palms of her hands.  She couldn't stop herself from yelling; Rory's pale, lifeless face had sent her over the edge.  It was all because of Jess.  It was all his fault that this had happened.

"But he didn't," the girl said quietly.

Lorelai blinked.  "What?"

"He didn't come out unscathed.  I mean, just _look_ at him.  I don't think he would have done whatever he did to crash the car just for the heck of it."

"Yeah?  Well, you're wrong.  Listen, whatever your name is…"

"Mel."

"Yeah, well listen, Mel, Jess was the one who let go of the wheel and it's _his _fault the car crashed!  My daughter wouldn't have to go through all this pain if he hadn't been such an idiot."

Mel's eyes darkened as she ran her fingers through Jess' tangled hair, smoothing out the knots.  "He must have thought she was going to take the wheel," she said quietly, "We did that a lot when we went out.  When the driver's hands were full, the person in the passenger's seat would take the wheel.  It was the natural thing to do for Jess."

"But Rory isn't that reckless!  You would think that after spending so much time with Rory, Jess would _know_ that."

Mel was silent for several moments, her hands folded in her lap.  When she finally spoke, her voice was quiet and determined.  "It takes more than six months of Stars Hollow to eradicate seventeen years of life in New York.  From what I've heard of your daughter, she's different from anyone he's ever met in the city; there just aren't girls like that back at home.  It was a force of habit to tell her to take the wheel.  I would have done it, any other friends of ours would have done it.  It would have been a perfectly natural thing to do back at home.  So back off him, ok?  You can't just toss someone into Hicksville and expect them to change!  It just doesn't work that way.  Has Rory ever nearly been raped?  Yeah, well I have.  Jess beat the guy up before he could get his hands on me.  He's used to living on his toes, pounding the crap out of anyone who tries to cross him, or any of his friends.  He's not _used_ to this kind of environment.  Did you think the whole happy-happy-joy-joy atmosphere of this town would just seep into his brain and turn him into a giggling, flower picking nancy boy in just one day?'  

'So don't blame Jess.  He was thrown into a place he never wanted to be in, a place where he's totally out of place.  No transition phase.  He's not used to life here.  So stop laying all of your blame on him!"

Her voice rose as she spoke, and she raised her strangely intense blue eyes to Lorelai's face, almost daring her to speak.  Lorelai flinched at her words, and glared back at Mel, anger flaring in her heart at the girl's sharp words.  But even as a biting retort formed on her tongue, her resentment slowly began to ebb away, to be replaced by an intense weariness that seemed to seep into her very bones.  Her eyelids suddenly felt heavy as lead and all she wanted to do was to collapse in bed and try to forget everything that had happened in the past few days.  Tiredly, she ran her hands through her hair, too worn out to snap back at the girl.  It was just too much for her to handle.  Rory's accident, her fight with Luke, and now arguing with Jess' friend, who she didn't even know.  She just didn't have the energy to fight anymore.  Even worse was the growing pang of sympathy for Jess that had been growing in her chest ever since she had seen how tenderly Mel had cared for him.  She had lashed out even harder at Mel because of that, trying to tell herself that Jess was the one at fault, trying to lay all the guilt she felt on a different person.  

And her talk with Mel had made her realize that.  It had made her realize that she was just using Jess as someone to lay her blame on, trying to convince herself that it wasn't her fault that this had happened.  Even though she knew it really wasn't her fault that the car had crashed, she still couldn't eradicate that immense weight of guilt that hung over her head.  

            Lorelai lifted her gaze, meeting Mel's eyes.  "Do you have a place to stay?"

            "What?" Mel blinked, baffled by the sudden change of topic.

            "I asked if you have a place to stay."

            Mel frowned, looking down at her hands, folded in her lap.  "Well… no.  I don't.  Why?"

            Lorelai let her lips curve into a half-smile, the first one that had crossed her face since the accident.  "Well, come on then.  You're staying with me."

            Mel stared at her blankly for several seconds, and then slowly rose, smiling as well.  She hoisted her bag onto her shoulder, and with one last look over her shoulder at Jess' sleeping form, left the room, Lorelai at her side.

            Lorelai smiled as they walked down the hall, not quite sure why she was so readily trusting such a girl.  She probably stole, probably did drugs, probably had no respect for authority.  But she was trusting her anyway.  It was something in Mel's eyes as she had shot out her opinion at her, a spark of angry honesty that had flared in those piercingly azure depths.  

Maybe she had to take that same attitude towards Jess…  maybe she had to stop jumping to conclusions so quickly.  Maybe she had to give him a chance, in the same way that she was giving this girl a chance and not immediately assuming, because she had blue hair and a lip ring, that she was a delinquent. 

            Maybe she would give Jess a chance.

            Maybe.

~*~*~*~*~*~

So, that was the first chapter.  Please r/r!  I want your honest opinion!  Flames accepted.  Should I write a second chapter? 


	2. Recuperation

Ok, so I've finally gotten off of my sorry butt and have written the second chapter.  I'm feeling kind of shaky about this part so reviews would be greatly appreciated!

Disclaimer:  I don't own Gilmore Girls… ~*sigh*~   Although I do own Mel.

Pairing:  R/J – I love Jess!         

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Mel yawned, stretching her arms over her head as she woke.  Rubbing her eyes, she rolled over to get into a more comfortable position and…

            THUD!

            "AUGGHHH!!!"

            Lorelai stumbled down the stairs, still half asleep.  "What is it, who's being killed?"

            Mel glared up at her from her position on the floor.  "Either get a softer floor or a wider couch," she muttered, rubbing her still-throbbing head.  Lorelai grinned sleepily at the girl sprawled over her living room floor before stumbling the rest of the way down the stairs.  

            "Well, good morning to you, too," she said, helping to hoist the disgruntled fifteen-year-old to her feet.  It had been two days since Mel had come to Stars Hollow, and she and Lorelai had established something akin to friendship, which Rory would have defined as 'friendish,' had she been there.  

Lorelai had found that Mel wasn't as untrustworthy as she would have others believe.  Besides a few smuggled beers, and a cigarette or two, she had had no problems with her.  She had even been cooking breakfast for the past few days, not, as Mel had made a point to say, because she _wanted_ to, but because she had heard horror stories about Lorelai's cooking.  But Lorelai could tell that there was a spark of kindness behind her actions.  Mel could obviously tell that Lorelai was still emotionally and physically drained from the accident, and wasn't up to doing anything, _especially_ cooking.  And Mel couldn't get Lorelai to tell her just why she refused to go to Luke's diner.

And Lorelai was still working on trying to control the anger she felt for Jess.  Even though part of her wanted to try to accept him, another, much louder part of her reminded her of that look on Rory's battered face, of her shattered, broken body.  It wasn't going to be easy to accept him after what had happened.

            Lorelai set to work making coffee while Mel plunked herself down at the kitchen table.  "So, they're coming home today, right?" she yawned, resting her head on the table top.  

            "Yep," Lorelai replied, "Although I think doc dearest said that they will both be prostrate for quite some time, so I'm going to have to play nurse for a while."

            Mel nodded.  "Mmm.  Hey, Lorelai, I think I'll be pushing off once they get back.  I don't want to intrude on your hospitality for too long.  And I talked to Luke, and he said it would be ok if I stayed there a while, since he won't be able to take care of Jess while he's 'prostrate,' as you so elegantly put it, since he'll be running the diner and that Caesar guy will be on vacation."

            Lorelai spun around, a freshly brewed cup of coffee steaming in her hands.  Her face had turned pale, and she gulped down a huge mouthful of coffee before speaking, as if to reassure herself.  "Wait… you talked to Luke?  When, where, why, how?"

            "Woah, ease off with the twenty questions.  Did you think I just sat in Miss Patty's ballet class all day?  I recognized Luke's diner from Jess' description, and dropped by.  He's the first person I've ever met who can make coffee that almost compares to New York Chinatown coffee."

            "Did you…" Lorelai paused, staring into her cup as if searching it for inspiration.  "Did he… happen to mention me at all?"

            Mel looked up at quickly, hoping that perhaps Lorelai would spill on why she had been avoiding the diner.  "Not that I recall…  why?"

            "Uh… it's nothing.  It's just…  we kind of had an argument over the accident.  I… I kind of blamed him for the whole thing, and told him it was his fault, and stuff like that.  I haven't really gone to his diner since."

            Mel raised her eyebrows.  "Well, if you feel so bad about it, apologize."  
  


            Lorelai looked up sharply, blinking.  "What?"

            "Apologize.  This isn't just going to mend itself, you know.  If you were the one at fault, you should be the one to apologize."

            Lorelai studied her face intently before nodding, saying, "Yeah, I guess you're right.  And I _really_ miss his coffee.  This tastes like crap."  With that, she dumped the remaining coffee in her cup down the drain with a flourish, making a face at the brown liquid as it swirled away.  "C'mon, let's get to the hospital, and then we'll get us some real coffee."  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            Anyone who happened to be outside of Luke's Diner at 12:00 that Sunday were the witnesses to an extremely peculiar sight.  Two hobbling, cast encrusted teenagers on crutches wobbled down the street, supported by a concerned Lorelai, a similarly concerned girl with blue hair, and an unnervingly happy Luke.

            Mel and Jess, several yards behind the others, had a chance to catch up.  

            "Why is Luke so happy?" Jess asked, eyebrows raised, "It's really freaking me out.  I sit there, twitching, all morning, waiting for a bellowing, I-am-going-to-grind-your-bones-to-make-my-bread Luke to come bursting into the hospital, but when he _does_ come, he's practically skipping and he has this simpering smile plastered all over his face."

            "Simpering smile?"  Mel frowned.  "He looks the same to me."

            "Believe me, he's happy.  See the way his mouth is twitching?  That means he's trying not to smile."

            Mel glanced at him, a small grin curving over her mouth.  She refrained comment on how close he had seemed to have grown to Luke, and instead answered his question.  "He made up with Lorelai."

            "They had a fight?"

            "Yeah.  Over you."

            "Is that so?  Oh, and tell me, why hasn't _she_ smashed my skull in half yet?"

            "Oh, I talked her out of it," Mel replied with an enigmatic smile.

            "Talked her out of it, huh.  You know, Mel, sometimes I doubt that you're really human.  I would have thought that to be an impossible task."

            Mel shrugged.  "I guess you just have to get to know her better," she said innocently, staring up at the sky.  Before he could shoot back with a sarcastic retort, she blandly charged on.  "So, anyway, Jess.  Have you talked to Rory at all yet?"

            Jess' countenance immediately changed.  His eyes darkened, and he glanced over at his friend, a flicker of consternation passing over his face.  "No, not yet," he said quietly.  Mel, however, having known him since she was six, read more into what he said.

            Mel raised her eyebrows, still staring up at the sky.  "What makes you think she hates you?"

            Jess jolted, blinking at her.  "You know, that's _really_ unnerving."

Mel merely smiled in response.

Jess continued, "Well, Mel, in case you haven't heard, I smashed her headlong into a tree at approximately 60 miles per hour.  Definitely not a way to win any girl over."

            Mel grinned, looking uncannily like a blue Cheshire cat.  "So you want to win her over."

            Anyone who really didn't know Jess well wouldn't have noticed how he turned several shades paler at her comment.  Mel, however, noticed, and smiled.

            "Did you hear Our Lady Peace has a new CD coming out?"

            "Hah!  You're changing the subject!  I knew it, you like her!"

            "I think their new single is called 'Somewhere Out There.'  Quality music."

            "Fine, change the subject.  You'll have to talk to her eventually, though.  Things aren't going to sort themselves out.  You have to apologize, and stuff."

            Jess nodded, hooded eyes fixed on the ground, no longer trying to evade the subject.  "You're right, I guess," he sighed.

            Mel grinned.  "Great!  Now you can introduce me to your lady love.  I still haven't gotten to speak to her yet.  Oohh… Jess is blushing…"

            "The CD's coming out on June 18, I think."

            "I hate it when you do that." 

~*~*~*~*~*~

            "_Finally_, they're off.  I feel like a normal human being again," Jess sighed, flexing his recently cast-less arms and legs as the doctor and Luke left the hospital room.  

            "You really had me worried there, dude," Steve said, bouncing on the end of Jess' bed, "When Mel rang me up and told me what happened, I shot up here as soon as I could."

            Steve was Jess' other best friend from New York.  His coal black hair flopped over dark brown eyes, which stood out in his remarkably pale face.  His entire wardrobe was black, and although he wasn't exactly a goth, he certainly wasn't what one would describe as being mainstream.  Mel sat beside him, her legs curled up Indian style.

            "So, Jess," she said, "Now that you're no longer bedridden, I suppose that means we'll be lugging ourselves back home."

            "But I just got here!" Steve protested, pulling on one of Mel's pigtails.

            "Trust me, there's nothing to see," she responded darkly, "The main attraction in the place is the library.  Oh, and once in a while you get to see Old Faithful go all exploding-geyser on you."

            Steve looked vaguely puzzled.   "Old Faithful?  As in Yellowstone?"

            Jess rolled his eyes, smirking.  "That's her nickname for Rory's boyfriend.  Dean.  He… uh… paid me a visit a couple weeks ago."

            "Yeah, he had a major freak out.  'You almost killed my darling, blah, blah, you should die, blah, blah, you are scum, blah, blah.'  You should have been there."

            Steve raised his eyebrows.  "Sounds… interesting.  So have you talked to her yet?"

            Jess hopped off of the side of the bed, stretching his arms and legs.  "Nope."

            Steve raised his eyebrows.  "Mel, elaborate."

            "He's been bedridden, she's been bedridden, therefore, no interaction.  He hasn't had a chance to woo her yet."

            Jess turned around, a slight scowl on his recently stitches-less face.  The only people he really let his guard down around were his two best friends, and he decided to do so now.  "Woo her my ass.  I practically _killed_ her!  And even if Lorelai _hasn't_ bitten my head off yet, she will probably never let me in a ten foot radius of her again.  And Rory probably hates me anyways!  You can't forgive someone for smashing them into a tree, cause in case you haven't noticed, girls don't really like that too much."

            Steve shrugged.  "Well, you'll never know if she hates you 'til you talk to her, will you?  Maybe you can sort it out, or something."

            Jess merely glowered at them, slouching out of the room with his jacket slung over his shoulder.

            Mel raised her eyebrows.  "Typical Jess exit.  Why can't I make any dramatic exits like that?"

            Steve grinned.  "He hasn't lost his touch.  Remember when you were drooling all over him a couple years ago?"

            Mel shrugged.  "He's more of a big brother type to me, I guess.  I gave up on him long ago.  And besides, I have you, don't I?"  Steve smiled, bending down to give his girlfriend a kiss.  

            "Let's find Jess, shall we?  We don't want that delinquent getting into any more trouble."

            "Huh.  Delinquent?  You should talk."

            "Oh, shut up."    

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            Jess tossed his copy of 1984 to the side, leaning back in his bed and staring at the ceiling.  He had found that recently he couldn't concentrate on anything, even George Orwell.  He sighed absently, running his fingers over the faint scars that still lined his face.  

            Ever since Mel and Steve had returned to New York, he had felt strangely empty, as if a part of himself had left with them.  The wild, desperate yearning for his hometown that he had managed to suppress in the past few months reared its ugly head once more, gnawing away painfully at his insides.  Seeing his friends leave had made him nearly sick with loneliness, although his face and actions betrayed nothing.  He wasn't one for big emotional breakdowns.  

            And on top of this overwhelming insecurity, he felt immensely guilty.  He was certain that he had ruined Rory.  How could she ever trust him again after what had happened?  Even though he had told his friends that he would talk to her, he had been pointedly avoiding her, running upstairs whenever she appeared in the diner.  For once, Jess was completely at a loss for what to do.  He had no idea what Rory would think of him after what had happened, but he was fairly certain that her feelings must be leaning more towards the negative side.

            But what bothered Jess the most was the fact that he had let this whole incident get to him at all.  He had _never_ felt this guilty about hurting anyone.  He had always been the center of his own little universe, which contained only his closest friends, soaring in their own little orbits around him.  Sure, he had stood up for them, and he cared about them more than anything else, but guilt was an alien emotion to him.  He didn't understand why he was so devastated about someone's good opinion lost.  Before, he would have just shrugged it off, saying it was their loss.  But now…

            He cursed silently to himself.  The small town atmosphere was slowly beginning to get to his head.  He ran a frustrated hand through his tousled dark hair.  He had to get out.  Hopping to his feet, he walked towards the door, grabbing the keys to the apartment as he went.  He swung open the door, and barreled straight into something warm and soft.  Stumbling slightly and muttering half-hearted apologies, he backed up to see who he had collided with, and found himself face to face with a pair of shimmering blue eyes.

            Rory.

            Damn.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So, that was Chapter 2.  What did you think?  Please, please review!


	3. Discovery

Ok, so here's Chapter 3!  A little short, I know, sorry. :(  There's actually some Jess-Rory interaction in this chapter—finally!  Reviews would be greatly appreciated!

Disclaimers: I don't own Gilmore Girls, and I suppose I should have included this in the last chapter, but I don't own Our Lady Peace.  ~*tear*~  Best band in the world!  Anyways, I _do_ own Mel and Steve. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~        

They stood there for several seconds, neither speaking, just staring at each other in a dazed silence.

            "Jess."

            "Rory."

            More silence.

            Rory shifted uneasily, glancing over her shoulder at the stairs she had just ascended.  "Oh…  um, were you just…"

            Jess raised his eyebrows, his nonchalant face up and ready.  "Leaving?  Yeah."

            "Oh.  I was just…  I was… um…  If you were going don't let me bother you or anything, I'll just…"  She rambled on, her eyes darting nervously over everything but him.  She began to drift towards the stairs, her hands waving in apology like dazed moths in high wind.  

            "No!  Don't."  

That came out a little too earnestly for his liking.  He cringed inwardly at his blunder, and immediately retreated back into himself, masking the turmoil that raged through his system.  His tongue stumbled for words that would make him sound less eager, less vulnerable, but none came, leaving him stuck, unable to speak, in the doorway.  After fumbling for several seconds for something to say, he finally came out with, "Why are you here?"

Ok, maybe a little harsh, he thought with a pang of regret as he saw a small flicker of hurt light in her eyes.  But it soon vanished and she shrugged her shoulders, staring at her feet.  "Oh, I, um, saw your friends before they left.  Mel and Steve.  They were, uh, nice."

She was rambling again.  Jess nodded, faintly wondering where this was leading to.

"Yes, so they are."

            "And, um, they told me you had something to say to me?"  Her voice trailed off inquisitively, and she raised a pair of lucid blue eyes to stare directly at his face, pinning him to the spot.  When he felt the heat begin to rise up his neck and into his cheeks, he quickly turned away, and glanced into the apartment.

            He was going to _kill_ Mel and Steve.

            "Um, yeah, I guess you could say that," he said, his voice emotionless, betraying nothing.  "Come on in," he added, almost as an afterthought, not turning around.  

            He heard the door shut with a soft click behind him, and heard the springs of the worn armchair squeak quietly as she settled onto it.  He slowly turned and seated himself on the edge of a coffee table nearby.  

            He gestured towards her arms, saying, "You feeling ok?"  

            Rory glanced up at him, and back at her arms.  "Oh, um, yeah.  I'm fine now," she said quietly.  

            Jess nodded, staring at the wall behind Rory instead of at her.  "Good."

            Rory nodded as well, looking down uneasily at her hands clamped tightly in her lap.  A short silence followed, and both Rory and Jess could feel the anxiety and tension, practically tangible, filling the space between them.

            Suddenly, they both looked up and leaned forward slightly, saying simultaneously, "Look…"

            They both paused and blinked and then said, once more in chorus, "You go first."

            The stared at each other for several seconds, and then broke out into laughter.  Rory wiped her eyes of her sleeve, gasping between spasms of mirth, "This is ridiculous!  Why are we acting like this?"

            Jess merely looked at the ground, his laughter slowly dying in his throat, because he knew exactly why things were so uncomfortable between them.  It was because of him, because of that _idiotic_ mistake he had made, because he had let go of the wheel and the car had smashed headlong into a tree.

God, he hated feeling guilty.

He ran a shaking hand through his hair, clenching and unclenching his fists.  Apologizing had never been easy for him, no matter how sincere he was.  And now as he tried to tell her he was sorry for everything he had done to her, the words stuck in his throat, his pride choking the half-born request for forgiveness.  He felt like a fish out of water, his throat contracting but no sound coming out from his mouth.  

            His head jerked upwards as he felt a hand on his arm, and found himself face to face with Rory.  He gulped and instinctively drew back, keeping his face as calm as possible.

            "It's ok," she said gently, "I know what you're trying to say.  I know you're trying to apologize.  But I know its not easy for you, so you don't have to.  I understand, ok?"

            He blinked, a small flicker of surprise showing in his usually indifferent eyes.  His brow furrowed, his perplexity growing.  "Oh," was all he could come out with.  Why couldn't he control his emotions properly today?  

            He gritted his teeth, and pulled his arm away, staring at her.  "No, I should apologize," he said with some difficulty.  "It was my fault, and…"

            Rory watched the conflicting emotions battle in the green depths of his eyes with sympathetic interest.  She held no grudge against him, even though she hadn't been completely happy about it at first.  It would take some time to completely trust him again, but still…

            He was still struggling with what to say.  Rory smiled, amused to see Jess at a loss for words.  She didn't know how it had happened, but she had somehow over the past few months begun to care deeply about Jess.  Despite his tough, indifferent exterior, she knew how isolated and vulnerable he really felt inside, and only cared the more about him for it.  She had been able to see it at times, that flickering uncertainty in his eyes that broke through sometimes when they were alone.  And she could see it now, shining bright as daylight.  

            Before she knew what she was doing, she had closed the distance between them.  It was not until she felt the warmth of his lips pressed against hers that she realized what was going on, and she froze in shock, but somehow she couldn't pull away.  Coherent thought slowly began to melt away as she kissed him, hazily relishing the feeling of soft lips covering hers.  Rough, warm hands found their way to her cheeks as Jess slowly responded, nearly paralyzing Rory with the strange heat that exploded in her chest, swamping her in its heady embrace.  

            She jerked back quickly, gasping for breath, her cheeks flushed crimson, only too aware of how strangely cool her mouth and cheeks felt now that he wasn't touching her.  Inwardly, however, she burned with a new fire that threatened to consume her, filling her with a sense of wild, raw exuberance that tore through her veins.  

It terrified her.

How did he do it?  How did he manage to, with a glance, make her feel more emotion in a second than she did in an hour with Dean?  

Oh God.  Dean.

Crap!

She stumbled to her feet in horror, and found herself staring straight into a pair of deep green eyes, filled with a strange jumble of emotions…  confusion, surprise, concern…

            Love.

            An inexplicable terror rose in her throat as she wrenched her gaze away, her breath coming in ragged gasps.  Love.  Did Jess love her?

            "Rory!"

            She ignored him, running violently trembling hands through her hair, backing away,  "How… why?  I didn't…  that wasn't…"  Why wasn't her brain functioning?  No, change that, why _hadn't_ her brain functioned?  _Why_ had she kissed him?  She loved Dean, Dean who had stayed by her side all this time while she was recuperating, Dean who had always been there for her when she needed him, Dean who…

            Dean who…

            Why couldn't she think of any other good things about Dean?  There were many, many more, she told herself firmly, she just had to think… she had to get out of there.  

            Without a word, she turned and stormed down the steps, her hair swirling in a brown cloud behind her as she fled, Jess' voice still ringing in her ears.

            She had to think… she had to figure things out…  she needed time to think.


	4. Resolution

Sorry it took me so long to post this.  :(  I wasn't too pleased with the first draft, so I had to retype it several times, and then I was away at camp for three weeks, so it took me a while.  Anyways, the beginning is pretty much recap of what happened in the last chapter.  Please review- I thrive on feedback!  And thanks to all of the wonderful people who have already reviewed, especially to my beta-reader, Runnernda.  You're all so kind!  Thank you!    

Disclaimer:  I don't own Gilmore Girls.  ~*sigh*~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Mel strolled aimlessly down the school hallway, her hands stuffed in her pockets, whistling idly.  In one palm she gripped a bathroom pass, but she had passed the bathroom a while back.  The restroom hadn't been her destination.  

She paused before the school's front doors, still whistling, the sound echoing through the deserted hallway.  She looked completely relaxed and innocent, as if she was just peering outside to see the weather, but her eyes were darting carefully over the hall and her ears were tuned for any foreign sounds.  She stood for several seconds longer, hunched over, completely still, and then suddenly bolted, shooting as silently as possible onto the sidewalk.  She jogged around the corner, the wind whipping against her hair, a feeling of freedom rising buoyantly in her chest as a smile crept over her lips.  Escape accomplished.  

She slowed, her eyes scanning the school windows, counting as she went until she reached the room she knew was Steve's fifth period history class.  She peered carefully into the window, and when the teacher's back was turned, she waved her hand frantically at the dark figure hunched in the far corner of the room.  She saw him move slightly, his hand half raised to signify that he had seen.  She slid out of view once more, and heard faintly through the glass Steve's muffled voice asking for a bathroom pass.

She jogged back to the front door, and moments later, Steve appeared, sweeping her into his arms and twirling her around several times before setting her back on her feet.  Trying to stifle her giggles, she led him away from the school, down the street.

"So what's up?"

"I was bored.  Physics.  And I know that you know everything there is to know about History already, so I figured you wouldn't mind if I dragged you out."

"Not at all," Steve smiled, glancing down at her.  "Anything else?"

"Oh, yeah, I almost forgot- letter."

"Jess?"

"Yup."  Mel fished a slightly crumpled piece of paper from her pocket, smoothing it out slightly before passing it to Steve.  He glanced over it, his eyes widening as he read.  "She _kissed_ him?  Wow.  Never knew Jess was such a smooth talker," he grinned.

"Not quite," Mel countered, peering over his shoulder at the note.  "Read this…"

"Ouch," Steve said, raising his eyebrows after he had read the next few lines.  "It's never a good sign when you kiss a girl and she runs screaming in the opposite direction."

"Well, she wasn't _screaming._  And you can't blame her.  She has that overprotective maniac draping himself over her head 24/7."

Steve raised his eyebrows and grinned at the venom in Mel's voice, but remained silent.  Instead, he flipped the letter over, his dark eyes flitting quickly over it.  "Hmmm… he wrote more on the back."

Mel stood on tiptoe, glancing at the note.  "He did?  I didn't see that."

"Here, it pretty much says that Rory scooted, yadda yadda, Jess was watching her run off from the window, yadda yadda, and… uh-oh, listen to this, she runs straight into The Boyfriend.  And thus the letter terminates."

"Cliffhanger!  I hate cliffhangers."

"I have a feeling Jess' next letter is going to be _very_ interesting."

~*~*~*~*~*~

            Rory jolted as she collided straight into a large, warm, solid surface.  Still in a state of shock after what had just happened, she dazedly murmured apologies under her breath and turned to run off again.  But a hand gripped her arm, gently turning her around to face the collide-ee.  She found herself face to face with a pair of amused brown eyes.  She gulped.  The last person she wanted to see at that moment.

"Oh…  Dean… um, hey."

            "Rory!  Hey, how are you doing?"  Dean smiled and bent down to give Rory a quick peck on the lips, engulfing her in another wave, no, tsunami would be more accurate, of guilt.  She unconsciously flinched and pulled quickly away, turning her head uneasily aside.  She felt as if her insides had been surgically removed, filled with lead, and then shoved forcibly back in.

            "Rory, what's wrong?  Are you ok?"

            She wavered, not meeting his eyes.  "Oh, um, yeah, I'm fine," she said, flashing a half-smile that she hoped looked sincere.  

            "Where were you?  I was looking all over for you."

            Rory couldn't suppress the guilty flush that rose to her cheeks, remembering Jess.

            "I…  I was at the bookstore," she stammered, looking down at her feet, sinking into a mire of misery.  She detested lying, especially to Dean, but what was she supposed to say?  'Oh, hello Dean, I was just at Luke's apartment, with Jess in fact.  Yeah, that guy you hate with a passion and want to hack to pieces with a chain saw.  Oh, and guess what?  I just kissed him!'   

She felt terrible.  She was a horrible, horrible person; how could she have done this to him?  Dean was so wonderful, too, he had done so much for her.  He had built her that car, had given her practically all of his time and attention.  He cared about her so much…

            Too much.

            She flinched again.  The thought had sprung unbidden into her head, but now that it was there…  she had to admit it was true.  Everywhere she turned, he was there, smiling, asking her to sacrifice all of her hobbies so that she could spend every waking moment with him.  And although she was grateful for his concern, it was… annoying.  He had been by her side practically every day when she had been bed-ridden, cooing at her, giving her flowers until her room looked like a veritable greenhouse.  She had nearly been suffocated by an overdose of perfume, but she couldn't remove them for fear of offending him.

            She couldn't do _anything_ for fear of offending him.  

            She flinched and bit her lip, taking his hand firmly in hers, assuring herself that she loved him, she loved everything about him, he was perfect.  Dean smiled down at her, and squeezed her hand, leading her down the sidewalk.  

            She hated lying to him.  It was horrible, that huge weight of guilt that settled like a boulder over her head, filling her with a perpetual uneasiness, never giving her a moment's peace.  He had trusted her, and she had taken that trust, thrown it on the ground, and stamped it to pieces.  But she _couldn't_ tell him, it would ruin everything they had worked so hard to build…  and that kiss really meant nothing.  Nothing at all.  It was… it was merely a sign of affection from a friend.  That was all.

            The annoying voice in her head piped up again, insisting on cashing in _its_ two cents on the matter.  It meant nothing, huh, it said.  If it meant nothing then why did you feel like your heart was on fire?  Why did you have to fight to pull away from him?  Why are your thoughts perpetually tuned to him, even when you're with Dean?

            Speaking of whom…

            She gulped.  Dean had been talking and she hadn't even realized it.

            "Oh, uh, sorry, I kind of spaced out, what was that?"

            "I said you aren't looking too well.  Are you sure you aren't overly exerting yourself?"

            "Dean, we're just _walking._  I told you, I'm fine."

            He stared at her for several seconds, the expression in his eyes unreadable, then turned his head away, gripping her hand even tighter in his.  Several seconds of tense silence filled the space between them before he muttered, "I can't believe that _freak_ did this to you.  He's turned you into a completely different person."

            Rory froze, clenching her teeth as a strange tightness built in her stomach.  Why did Dean always have to _do_ this?  She was sick of it, sick of him always trying to protect her and always being too stubborn to realize that Jess really wasn't as horrible a person as he thought.  Her eyes hardened as she slowly pulled her hand out of his, turning to face him.  She was sick of lying to him.  

            "Dean," she said, trying to keep her voice level, "I lied to you.  I wasn't at the bookstore, I was with Jess.  And I…"

            "You were _what!?!?_" Dean stared down at her, his eyes widening, filled with angry incredulity.  He looked like he was about to explode.  "Rory, I don't want you hanging around him!  You're too forgiving!  You're too nice for your own good, and you can't see what he really is.  I'm saying this for your own good, I want you to stay away from him!"

            Rory stared at him, her eyes wide.  The only sound she could hear was her heart pounding painfully in her chest.  A weight of sadness settling heavily over her, pressing on her chest so that she found it hard to breathe.  In that moment, she knew that she and Dean, no matter how hard they tried, would never again be able to pick of the scattered remnants of their relationship as it had once been.  As much as she cared about him, as much as she wanted this to work, she now knew that it would never be the same again.  

"Dean," she said quietly, "I know you're saying this because you care about me, and I really appreciate that.  But I'm sorry, you can't control my life, and you can't control who I choose to be my friends.  I know you don't like Jess, and I know that you think I'm too innocent and can't see the evil in him, but I really think it's the other way around.  I think that you only see the evil in Jess, and can't see the good."

Dean stared at her, and she watched his anger slowly deflate as if he was a balloon that had been pricked by a pin.  "So this is it, then?" he said quietly.  "You're choosing him over me."

"No!" she said quickly, putting a hand on Dean's arm.  "No," she repeated, more firmly this time, "This is happening because of us.  I know, and you know, that things won't ever be the same between us again.  But it's not because of Jess.  This is my decision, Dean.  I still care about you so much it hurts, but not in that way.  I-I'm sorry," she said quietly.

Dean stared at her for several seconds, his face expressionless, before saying slowly, "So am I."  With that, he turned and stalked down the street, leaving Rory standing alone on the sidewalk.  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Now, looking back on it, she couldn't think why she hadn't done it long before.  Their relationship had been deteriorating ever since their first break up, but she had just been too blind to see it.  She had buried herself in pit of self denial, hiding from the truth she was too afraid to face…  that she was falling out of love with Dean.

But now it was over.  As hard as it had been, she had broken up with him.  She could see things clearly now with the lucidity that aftersight brought… it had been an infatuation that had slowly melted away into friendship, and neither of them had been willing to see that it was over.  

_Until now, that is,_ Rory thought gloomily, sprawled out on her bed.  She slowly turned her head, sightless eyes staring out of the window at the pattering rain, drumming rhythmically on the roof over her head.  

Yes, it was indescribably wonderful to be free again, but…  she missed him.  She had to admit she missed him.  He was so sweet, so selfless; she really did love him as a friend.  

Maybe he would come around, eventually…

"Rory!"

Rory jolted, surprised, jerking upright at the sound of her mother's voice.  "What?" she asked, somewhat crankily, running her hands through slightly tousled hair.

"Daughter of mine, you've been moping in there all day.  And I know this is really hard for you, and you need time to get used to this, but you can't sit in there forever, you know."

"Says who?" she muttered, burying her face in the pillow she held in her lap.

"Says the temptingly rich and steamy cup of aromatic coffee in my hand," Lorelai sang, trying to waft the aroma through the cracks in the door.

"Cruel and underhanded tactics!" Rory accused as she was inextricably drawn to the door, cracking it open to peer out at her mother.

"Well, what can I say?  It's not my fault my daughter's a coffee addict," Lorelai grinned, allowing the mug to be snatched from her hand.

"Actually, it is," Rory shot back, plopping down at the kitchen table.  

Lorelai hovered by the kitchen table for a while, watching her daughter with affectionate empathy.  "There's more where that came from, you know," she said softly,  "Do you want to drive by Luke's and get some more?"

Rory opened her mouth and nearly said yes when suddenly her jaw froze in place, her eyes widening as she remembered exactly why she couldn't step in a ten foot radius of the diner.

"Uh…" she said, fishing nervously for an excuse, "I… I'm not feeling well.  Can you just get the coffee and come back?"  To reinforce her plea, she gave Lorelai her wounded puppy dog face, batting her eyelashes for extra effect.  

Lorelai wavered for several seconds before sighing, kissing Rory on the top of her head and grabbing her keys.  "I'll be back with the ambrosia in a sec, ok?  Don't go do a Romeo and Juliet on me."

With that, she was gone, the front door shutting behind her with a rattle, leaving the house shrouded in the semi-silence of a rainstorm.  Rory stared into her coffee cup, slowly stirring the liquid round and round, watching it swirl and slosh against the edges.  She let her mind wander into the past, remembering the events of that day a week ago.  

She had tried to block him from her mind, and had put such a violent effort into it that she had partially succeeded.  But still…  she remembered the state of turmoil she had been in, rushing down the stairs leading to the diner, her lips still tingling from the kiss, her hands still burning from where she had touched him, her fingers remembering the texture of his skin.  

Why had she done it?

It wasn't because she felt anything for Jess, she told herself firmly.  More than a friend, that is.  It was just that she had fallen out of love with Dean, and so she had therefore latched onto the nearest male specimen on hand.  It was just a spur of the moment thing; it had nothing to do with Jess.  Nothing to do with the fact that whenever he looked at her a strange warmth rose in her heart.  Nothing to do with the fact that she had been drawn to him since the first time she had set eyes on him.  

Nothing at all.

She repeated this firmly to herself, clutching her mug tightly in her hands.  

She was _not_ in love with Jess. 


	5. Completion

Alright, chapter 5 is up.  This is going to be the last chapter (finally!) although I may write an epilogue to round things up.  Sorry this took so long.  Thanks so much to all of you wonderful reviewers!!  I love you all!!!  You're all too kind.  :)  I wouldn't have finished this if it weren't for all of you.  Many thanks.  *blows kisses*

So… on with the story…

Disclaimer:  Alas, Gilmore Girls is not mine.  *sigh*

~*~*~*~*~*~

There was a hushed, secretive beauty that belonged only to the night that Rory Gilmore couldn't help but relish in.  When night spread its inky embrace over the sky, the earth transformed into a silent realm of shadows, intercepted only by soft pools of light cast by the gentle glow of lamps and streetlights, quiet beacons in a sea of darkness.  

            Rory sat alone in her own small, yellow pool of light, shadows dancing just out of reach among the kitchen cabinets.  Her house was a completely different place at night; it became an empty shell inhabited only by dark whispers of shadow, concealing secrets in its dusty corners.    

            She clutched a cup of hot chocolate in one hand and _Welcome to the Monkey House_ in the other, lost in its cracked, yellowed pages.  When her vision began to waver, she sighed, putting the book down with a soft clack that echoed gently throughout the kitchen, and rubbed her eyes.  Having to read a sentence three times in order to comprehend it was always a sure sign that it was getting late.  A quick glance at the clock confirmed this- it was two o' clock in the morning.  

            Rory finished off the rest of her hot chocolate with a flourish and stretched back luxuriously in her chair, a yawn stretching its way out from her throat.  She blinked several times and shook her head, pushing herself to her feet.  She stared reflectively at her door for a while, debating whether or not to go in.  Although mind was tired, her body buzzed with quiet energy.  There was no way she was going to get any sleep this way.  Perhaps she would take a walk…

            She nodded to herself, smiling.  Yes, she would take a walk.  Venus was out tonight, and she didn't want to miss seeing the orange planet's temporary reign in the night sky.  Pulling her bathrobe tighter around herself, she shuffled towards the screen door, wincing at the shriek of protest it emitted as she pulled it open.  As quietly as possible, she shifted over the creaking floorboards and slipped outside into the still, cool night air.  She stood on the porch for a while, drinking in the dark, clean smell of the night, relishing in the way the white disk of the moon bathed everything in a silvery light, and the way the damp grass ruffled idly in the quiet breeze.  

            A small smile creeping over her face, she stepped from the porch and was swallowed by the night.  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            The harsh clapping of cards being shuffled echoed loudly throughout the darkened diner.  Jess sat alone by the window, absently watching the cards bend and flex beneath his deft fingers.  Perfunctorily, he lay out the deck for yet another round of solitaire, the cards slapping softly as they met the table.  

He had always loved the night.  It was one of the few times that he found Stars Hollow tolerable- when all of its occupants were asleep.  He smiled ironically to himself at this, and peered out of the window, onto the silent, rain-slicked streets.  Harsh, orange streetlights flickered and buzzed over the deserted sidewalks, and stores hunkered like dark, empty shells across the way.  It was, Jess couldn't help reflecting, beautiful, in its own way.

Just when he was about to turn away from the view and begin his thirtieth game of solitaire that evening, a soft shuffling broke through the stillness of the night, the sound muffled as it floated through the glass.  He looked up sharply, his mind immediately darting to Rory, hoping that it was her.  At the same time he kicked himself mentally for always having her on his mind, but he couldn't help it.  He hadn't been able to stop thinking about her since that day last week when she had, out of the blue, leaned over and kissed him, transfixing him on the spot.  

And he hadn't seen her since.  

Shaking his head and berating himself for being so sentimental, he craned his neck and pressed his cheek against the cool glass to see who would be wandering the streets of Stars Hollow at this unholy hour in the morning.

His assumption turned out to be correct; Rory drifted idly down the street, dreamy eyes fixed on the star encrusted sky.  

A small smile flitting over his face and his heart rate increasing ever so slightly, he slid out of his seat and slunk towards the door to the diner, unlocking it and waiting for her to approach, unaware of his presence.  He leaned against the doorframe, folding his arms nonchalantly, his dark eyes following her every movement as she slowly drew nearer.  When she reached the corner, he spoke, his voice echoing strangely through the deserted streets.  

"You know, it's pretty dangerous wandering around this late at night.  I've heard this place is pretty much seething with bloodthirsty criminals."

Rory froze in shock, snapping abruptly back into the present.  She blinked at him for several seconds until uneasy recognition dawned.  "Jess," she said waveringly, her hands clenching and unclenching nervously.  She hadn't seen him since she…

"Yes, that would be my name," he said easily, pushing himself from the doorframe so that he could hold the door open for her, "Want to come in?"  When she hesitated, he grinned, gesturing towards the darkened counter with his head.  "Free coffee for the lady," he said in an almost sing-song voice, his dark green eyes glinting mischievously.

Rory couldn't help smiling at him then.  She was not only reminded of her mom, but she also knew that she was experiencing one of the rare 'Jess moments,' when he shed his indifferent façade and was just himself, lightly ironic and almost, but not quite, cheerful.  "How can I resist an offer of coffee?" she laughed, "you know my weaknesses too well."

As she passed through the door to the diner, Jess watched her, a smile flickering over his face.  "That I do," he said quietly, shutting the door behind them.

~*~*~*~*~*~

            Rory sighed sleepily and dropped her head with a dull thud onto the counter, wincing slightly at the jarring impact.  

            "Tired?" Jess' voice drifted from somewhere above her head.

            "A little," she mumbled in return, watching her breath fog the formerly spotless surface of the counter.  She didn't know for how long they had sat there, playing ERS until the images on the cards wavered and danced before her eyes, and she couldn't tell a queen from an ace.

            She had been uncomfortable in his company at first, but thankfully, he seemed to have completely forgotten about 'the incident,' as she so dubbed it in her head.  She felt her heart sink slightly at this thought, and then, with a blink, wondered why.  She should be _glad_ that that stupid mistake of hers hadn't ruined their friendship.  Because it _had_ been a mistake.

            Right?

            "I don't see how you can be, after all that coffee you consumed," he said lightly.

            She slowly raised her tired head, staring blankly at the coffee cup wasteland that stretched out before her.  "I don't see how you can be so awake after consuming none!" she countered, taking a swig out of the half full coffee cup before her, the caffine rush briefly invigorating her.  

            Shaking her head vigorously, she blinked the bleary haze from her eyes and turned to face him.  Her mouth was half opened to say something trivial, when she got a good look at his countenance and froze, her breath catching in her throat.  

His face was half shrouded by shadows, but she could see him well enough to note with some alarm that he had an odd expression on his face, one that she had never seen him wear before…  His green eyes glimmered darkly in the moonlight, half veiled by long, dark eyelashes.  Those eyes held an unspoken challenge, boring straight into her skull, daring her to admit to something she wasn't altogether sure of herself.  

            She turned away, feeling heat rise in her cheeks under his intense scrutiny.  A thick silence descended on them both, heavily laden with unspoken thoughts.  She squirmed uncomfortably, her body tense, weighed down by the stillness that settled suffocatingly around them.  She opened her mouth, her brain frantically searching for _something_ that would break the nerve-wracking silence, and was just about to blurt out something stupid about the weather when suddenly, Jess broke the stillness himself with an abrupt, "Why did you do it?"

            Unsettled and not a little flustered, she cast a fleeting glance at him before returning her gaze to her lap.  He was still staring at her with those intense eyes.  They had gone from companionable friendship to tense uneasiness in mere seconds.

            "Do what?" she answered shakily, not meeting his eyes.  Was it just her, or was the temperature rising in the room?

            "You know what I'm talking about," he said quietly, "or have you forgotten?  Here, let me recap for you.  Rory busts into Jess' apartment.  Grabs Jess and randomly kisses him until he doesn't know which way is up.  Then tears out just as suddenly, and hides in a hole somewhere for a week, leaving aforementioned Jess in limbo, wondering what the hell is going on."

            "That wasn't what happened!" Rory exclaimed indignantly, her head snapping up to glare at him.  He was smirking at her.  "If my rendition is incorrect," he said softly, "then you may as well fill me in to the real story.  I'm quite curious."

            "I--" Rory began, then trailing off, at a loss for words.  Instead, she found her gaze slowly traveling downwards, until she was staring at Jess' lips.  Jess' very, very nice lips.  Unwittingly, her eyes began to glaze over as the events of last Friday swarmed over her, recalling exactly how soft those lips had felt against her own, and…

            "Rory!  Earth to Rory."

            Rory jolted, snapping suddenly back into reality.  Oh, God.  _What was she thinking????_  She felt the blood rush violently to her face, and her stomach tangled itself in embarrassed knots.  Jess was peering amusedly into her face, a sardonic grin crossing his face.  His eyes taunted her, daring her to confess what she had _really_ been thinking.

            His proximity was beginning to unnerve her.  She couldn't think rationally when he was that close.  Scooting back as far as she could on her stool, she attempted to regain her composure and answer with as much dignity as she could gather his previous question.  "I-it was…" Her voice was not cooperating.  Frowning and clearing her throat, she started again, trying to still her wavering voice.  "It was nothing.  I… just… wasn't thinking rationally.  And I'm sorry if I led you to believe it was something more."  There.  Strong Rory.  She patted her back mentally in congratulation.

            Why was Jess still smiling?

            "It meant nothing, huh?"  

            She blinked in surprise, staring at him for several seconds in confusion before nodding vigorously.  "Yes.  Nothing."

            "So, hypothetically, if I were to kiss you right now, it would still mean nothing."

            Rory felt her face turn ten different shades of crimson at his words, her stomach rollercoasting through her body.  Was he… what was he saying??  

            "Hypothetically, yes.  It- it would mean nothing.  At all.  Because-" she continued waveringly, trying not to choke as he brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes, "-you… you're… we're just friends."

            "Uh huh," he said, resting his cheek on his hand, staring at her, that smirk still present on his face.  "Let's test this theory, shall we?"

            She opened her mouth to voice a shocked protest, but Jess had already leaned forwards, very effectively silencing her by kissing her soundly.

            This means nothing, she told her self firmly as he kissed her.  Nothing at all.  Noth… nothi… nnn…

            Her hands, traitorous limbs that they were, skimmed up his arms and twined around his neck.  She suddenly needed to feel his warm bulk in her arms, to reassure herself he was real.  She found herself responding eagerly to the kiss, leaning into him, clutching him hungrily.

            Ok.  Maybe she did think of him as a little more than a friend.

            All too soon, she felt him pulling away, but his arms remained around her waist, holding her close.  His breath brushed her neck warmly, and she sighed in breathless contentment, resting her head on his shoulder.  Sitting there, draped comfortably over Jess, she began to realize exactly how much in denial she had been.  The emotions that had been unleashed by that one kiss were too strong to be ignored.  She really was in love with Jess…

She couldn't help smiling when she noted how shaky his voice was when he spoke.  "I think," he said, without his usual composure, "that this theory of ours needs some revising."

            She raised her head and cupped his face in her hands, marveling at its texture and form, as if seeing him for the first time.  "I think I agree," she whispered, leaning in for another kiss.

~The End~   


End file.
